


Serendipity

by tobeconspicuous



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Romance, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Height Differences, M/M, Miscommunication, Missed Opportunities, Misunderstandings, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-03-24 05:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13804146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/pseuds/tobeconspicuous
Summary: “We don't meet people by coincidence, they are meant to cross our path for a reason.”-- UnknownOr, five times Rafael and Trevor miss their chance and one time they don't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rai_m](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rai_m/gifts).



> A late birthday gift to Rai87/Noodlebugg who asked for Bangan.
> 
> This idea was supposed to be a one short for a prompt and then exploded into this. Rai loved the idea so it's theirs forever now.
> 
> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta and to Astronaut_Milky for helping me with the smut, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> This will be updating fortnightly.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Rafael knew why Rita wanted to attend her boyfriends basketball game, he still didn’t quite understand why she had to drag him along. He had never been big on sports, even though he had let his friends drag him to a fair amount of baseball games growing up he had never actually sat and watched one. Instead he had opted to bring homework and study while Alex and Eddie listened to the games or watched them on TV. 

He wished Rita had allowed him to do the same.

Instead his friend had locked his books away under the ruse of Rafael needing to let loose and live a little. Rafael disagreed of course, but Rita never took no for an answer. That was how he found himself squished into crowded bleachers, lost in a sea of black and crimson. The music started, and Rafael was yanked to his feet.

The cheerleaders which had been stirring the crowd up all evening were standing either side of their teams entrance, shaking their pom poms like a scene from a movie. First the away team was announced, they came running out in their uniforms of navy and white, their mascot running in circles around the team. Then came Harvard’s team and the exact same scenario occurred. 

Harvard Crimson versus the Yale Bulldogs. If it wasn’t for the colors Rafael really couldn’t tell the difference between the two.

As soon as he was allowed, he sank back to his seat and huffed loudly, earning himself a glare from Rita. “You could at least  _ pretend  _ that you are having fun.”

“Why?” Rafael scoffed. “So you feel less guilty about ogling your boyfriend?”

Rita was eyeing said boyfriend at the moment, a coy smile on her face. “It’s good for you to get out,” Rits insisted, her gaze still focused on the players. “Have different experiences,  _ meet new people... _ ”

Rafael just glared. “If this is you trying to set me up again--”

“Of course not,” she took a deep breath and exhaled before turning to face Rafael. “I will never make that mistake again.”

A smirk broke out across his face. “As long as we’re clear.”

“Just attempt to enjoy yourself,” Rita snapped before she turned her attention back to the game.

“I won't,” he huffed, petulance at it’s finest.

Rita tore her gaze from the game. “You’re being stubborn.”

“Obviously,” Rafael was unable to keep the cockiness from his tone.

Rita just rolled her eyes. “At least the players are attractive.”

“You mean your boyfriend?” he teased lightly.

“Well yes,” Rita readily agreed before she gestured to the court. “But have you checked out the other players?”

Rafael had not, nor did he have any interest in doing so, but he was more than happy to humour his friend. He scanned the court and the players, objectively he could understand why Rita found these men attractive, but he preferred a mental--

Then Rafael saw him, player number nineteen, and his mouth went dry. The man was tall, obviously as a basketball player, had brown hair that fell into his eyes, which Rafael imagined winding his finger’s through the strands. He wondered if his hair felt as soft as it appeared. The man looked handsome from a distance, the navy blue and white uniform suited him.

In this moment he couldn’t help but agree with Rita. “Certainly some are.”

Rita cast him a knowing look before returning her attention to the game, eager to watch her boyfriend play. Rafael tried to concentrate on the game, but his attention continued to drift towards player nineteen, and his arms, his legs, his ass. On one occasion Rafael could have sworn that the man had locked eyes with him and threw him a wink, though he was certain it was all in his head.

Eventually the final goal was scored, Harvard Crimson had won by two points. Rita was ecstatic of course. He had never thought to see her leap from her seat let alone hear her cheer. As the crowd departed the venue, Rafael followed his friend to the back where she rushed to greet her boyfriend.

“Rafael,” Rita’s boyfriend, whose name Rafael could never quite remember, clapped him on the back. “Thanks for coming.”

“It was riveting,” Rafael tried to keep the sarcasm from his tone.

“You coming to the after party?” he asked, clearly not interested in Rafael’s answer.

Rafael just huffed. “Of course--”

“--he is,” Rita interrupted.

“Bangin,’” her boyfriend chuckled. “Just have to shower and change. See you soon?”

“Sure,” Rita smiled before she reached up and pulled him into a kiss.

Once the basketballer was out of earshot, Rafael turned and hissed at his friend. “Rita!”

“Come on Rafael,” she smirked. “Live a little.”

“No,” he snapped.

“Just an hour,” Rita bargained. “If you’re not having fun I’ll even pay for your ride home.”

Rafael was determined to say no, so was completely surprised when another word slipped out. “Fine.”

—

When Rafael and Rita arrived the party was already in full swing, the booze was flowing freely and the latest boy band was thumping through poorly strung speakers. Rita had deserted him as soon as her boyfriend had arrived, probably maneuvering him into a bedroom to have her way with the man, effectively abandoning Rafael despite her promise to him.

Since his friend had disappeared Rafael poured himself a large solo cup of lemonade, spiked it with far too much vodka and located a nice dark corner to sulk in. He sipped at the drink while throwing glares at those who dared to approach him. He checked his watch, he only had to last another thirty minutes before he could interrupt his friend and organize to go home.

As he looked up from his watch he noticed a tall figure making their way towards him. They flashed Rafael a handsome toothy smile, soft locks falling into steel grey eyes, he felt his stomach swoop -- it was number nineteen.

“This party doesn’t seem to be your scene,” his voice was warm, it sent a shiver through Rafael.

“How could you tell?” Of course he defaulted to sarcasm. “The fact that I’m standing in a corner trying to actively avoid being hit on?”

Number nineteen just laughed him off gently, Rafael’s bite didn’t seem to deter him at all. “The perpetual scowl on your face.”

“Ah,” was the only response that came to Rafael. An awkward silence stretched between the two, though ninteen’s soft smile never wavered. Finally Rafael had enough, “is there a reason why you haven’t left yet? Has my demeanor not scared you away?”

The man shrugged. “Truth is, this party isn’t my thing either.”

“I could have sworn I saw you on the court earlier this evening,” Rafael cocked his brow, he felt a smirk tease at the edges of his mouth.

Another laugh escaped him. “I enjoy the game more than the obligatory social aspects.”

“Really? I don’t believe that at all,” Rafael couldn’t help but tease.

“I play basketball for a merit award scholarship,” nineteen casually explained. “I’m actually completing my Juris Doctor.”

Rafael couldn’t help but smile at that. “So am I.”

“Never would have guessed, Harvard boy,” the taller man teased, his head tilted to the side.

“Rafael,” he offered his hand.

Nineteen shook it firmly. “Trevor.”

“What year are you?” Rafael queried, taking a long overdue sip of his drink.

“Third,” Trevor answered readily. “And you?”

“First,” Rafael was unable to stop the sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Why are you here Rafael?” Trevor took a sip of his own concoction. “Why law?”

He cocked a brow. “Why not?”

“My father is a lawyer, is a senior partner at a firm in New York,” Trevor began, needing to explain his own reasons. “I’m just following in his footsteps, trying to live up to his expectations I guess. I’d like to open up my own practice one day, escape from his shadow--”

“I want to be an ADA,” Rafael had no idea why he just blurted it out. “Going to work in commercial or something similar first, earn some money. Eventually though, I want to work for the District Attorney’s Office.”

“Help people?” Trevor gently questioned.

Rafael couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. “Something like that.”

“I think that’s admirable,” he sounded genuine, the smile on his face soft and warm. “Someone needs to speak for the people--”

“No money in it though,” Rafael tried to stem the blush he felt creeping onto his face. 

“Money isn’t everything--”

“Says the boy who clearly never wanted for anything,” Rafael scowled.

“That’s not--”

“I’m here on scholarship,” He quickly explained. “I have to work two other jobs to get by. I grew up in the Bronx, we lived hand to mouth.”

“Rafael--”

“I’m an outsider, always have been and always will be,” he finished before downing the rest of his drink. “That’s why I’m standing alone.”

Trevor’s tone was soft. “I do think it’s admirable.”

“Sure,” he looked at his watch, he only had to last another ten minutes.

“You’re working hard to get to where you want to be,” Trevor was earnest in his explanation. “Half of our classmates will be decent lawyers, few will be good. You, Rafael...you will be exceptional.”

Rafael couldn’t have hid the look of disbelief on his face if he had tried. “You don’t even know me, we’ve only just met.”

“You’re the most interesting person at this party,” Trevor stepped forward and placed a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “I would like to get to know you better.”

“Well,” Rafael felt warm. “I--” He couldn’t quite fathom the words that he had just heard. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” As he removed his hand Rafael had to fight the urge to grab it. “Can I get you another drink?”

“Sure,” He smiled gratefully. “I’ll come with you.”

Rafael grabbed Trevor’s arm and steered him towards the kitchen. He poured himself another large solo cup of lemonade, this time though he was a little lighter on the vodka. Rafael noticed Trevor doing the same, their eyes locked and a light blush and a bashful smile appeared on the his face.

Rafael cocked his head to the side as he admired the handsome, nervous man before him. If he played his cards right, he may end up being lucky enough to find out exactly how soft the other man’s locks were.

This time he grabbed Trevor’s hand, linking their finger’s together, and guided him back through the mass of people back to the corner the man had found him in earlier.

“So, Trevor,” He purred, enjoying the way the name sounded in his mouth.

He chuckled. “Yes Rafael?”

“What do you do with yourself outside of study and basketball,” Rafael continued innocently, he took a sip of his drink.

The larger man shrugged. “Not much really.”

“No girlfriend?” He teased.

Trevor shook his head. “No.”

“Boyfriend?” Rafael let his voice drop low and husky, he looked into Trevor’s grey eyes through his own long, dark lashes.

He smirked as the taller man raked his eyes over his form. “No,” he licked his lips. “You?”

“No boyfriend currently,” Rafael tilted his head to the side and smiled seductively.

“Good,” Trevor murmured, he took a sip of his drink before stepping closer to Rafael. “So what do you like to do with yourself?”

Rafael felt his cock twitch in excitement at the deep, guttural tone of Trevor’s voice. Gone was the sweet, bashful man he had met minutes before, he had been replaced with this man who appeared to know exactly what he wanted. A shiver ran down Rafael’s spine. He loved it.

“Well,” Rafael purred, pressing himself against Trevor’s large frame. “Lots of things.”

A familiar figure caught his eye, Rita was standing on the opposite side of the room, an approving, but knowing smirk had graced her pretty features. Rafael rolled his eyes before turning to face Trevor, a cocky smile on his face. “Bathroom break?”

He loved the pink flush of color that crept up the other man’s neck. “I’d love to.”

\--

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind Rafael, Trevor was upon him, the near empty drink he was carrying fell to the floor. He cupped Rafael’s face in his palm and titled it upwards. Trevor slowly leaned forward until Rafael could feel hot breath ghosting against his lips.

“Are you sure?” The taller man murmured, the pad of his thumb grazed Rafael’s jaw.

Rafael couldn’t help but lick his lips. “God yes.”

He wrapped his arms round the Trevor’s neck and dragged him into a searing kiss, their mouths slotted together perfectly. Rafael wound his fingers through the brown locks which were far softer than he had imagined. He smiled at the moan he elicited as he pulled away before leaning forward to capture the mouth again.

Trevor backed him against the door, his hands skirted away from Rafael’s face and travelled down his sides before resting at his belt. Rafael was impatient, he immediately reached down and undid his belt before grabbing Trevor’s hand and guiding it inside.

Trevor’s hand was larger than his own, and oh so warm. Trevor stroked him expertly, occasionally sweeping his thumb over the head of Rafael’s cock with an ease that suggested it wasn’t the first time that he had done this. Trevor leaned over Rafael, his hot breath harsh against the shorter man’s ear as he whispered a plethora of filth, detailing exactly what he would love to do to Rafael if he ever got the chance.

With each flick of Trevor’s wrist Rafael gasped out a moan which seemed to spur the brunette on. Stroking, twisting, faster and faster. Rafael craned his neck so he could capture the other man’s mouth with his own, so that he could feel every sound he was drawing from Rafael. Trevor suddenly pulled away, his strokes slowed causing Rafael to mewl in protest.

“Can I taste you?” Trevor asked huskily. All Rafael could do was nod and let out as gasping ‘ _ yes _ ’.

Watching such a large man fall so quickly to his knees made Rafael’s heart thump hard and fast. Trevor tasted him expertly, tongue swirling over the head before he devoured the rest of him, cheeks hollowed and eager. It didn’t take the man long to send Rafael over the edge, enthusiastically devouring Rafael’s release.

Once his head stopped swimming Rafael pulled the taller man to his feet and readily kissed him, reveling in the taste of himself on the man’s tongue. Rafael soon found himself on his knees, eagerly undoing Trevor’s belt.

“You don’t have to--”

“Shh,” Rafael smirked through long lashes. “I want too.”

Rafael pulled Trevor’s slacks over his hips, eager to see what lay within, overjoyed at what he found. He mouthed Trevor through the fabric of his briefs, relishing in the way Trevor jolted at each kiss against his large cock. Rafael drew the remaining fabric over Trevor’s hips, he enjoyed the sight of the man’s cock twitching as the cool air hit it.

He licked his lips before he took Trevor in hand and licked a long stripe up the shaft to the head. Rafael revelled in the groan he drew from the man as he teased the head of his cock before finally taking Trevor deep into his mouth, moaning when he felt it hit the back of his throat. 

He pulled off slightly, hollowing his cheeks as he wrapped his hands around the base. Rafael twisted his hands in opposite directions as he bobbed his head, up and down, enjoying the taste of the other man. Rafael felt the corners of his mouth twitch at every choked moan and gasp he drew from Trevor as he continued to suck, to lick, to pump.

“Raf,” Trevor breathed. “I’m go--”

Rafael enjoyed the sharp, salty taste of Trevor as the man poured himself down Rafael’s throat. He vigorously swallowed everything that spilled from Trevor’s cock. Moments later he found himself on his feet and a soft kiss placed against the corner of his mouth.

Trevor handed him a solo cup of water which Rafael eagerly consumed. “Here.” 

“Thanks,” Rafael smiled as he tucked himself away.

As soon as they were presentable they snuck themselves out of the bathroom, grateful for the fact the corridor was empty. 

“That was fun,” Trevor growled, capturing Rafael’s mouth with his own one last time.

Rafael melted slightly before he broke the kiss. “It was.”

“I really enjoyed talking to you--”

“ _ Talking _ ,” Rafael cocked his brow. “Is  _ that  _ what we’re calling it?”

“Here’s my number,” Trevor grabbed a piece of card and jotted a sequence of numbers down. “If you’re ever in New York... you should call me.”

Rafael pocketed the card and didn’t think of it again until the next morning when he was picking his discarded trousers off the floor. He felt the card in the pocket, and eyed it carefully. Trevor’s phone number, penned in black, looked intimidating against the white of the card. He ignored the excited swoop in his stomach, scrunched the card up and tossed it in the bin. Trevor was sweet, and he had fun with him, but Rafael felt that the older man was a little too serious for him. 

He resisted the urge to pick the paper out from the trash. After all, if he and Trevor were meant to be together they would cross paths again. Then it would be fate. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta and to Astronaut_Milky for helping me with the smut, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Trevor had grown up on the Upper East Side, he was familiar with the lifestyle, the types of people who resided there. He knew the sights, the sounds, the familiar smells, and he knew when someone stood out.

When he jogged down Park Avenue one cool spring morning, he noticed a handsome, slender young man wearing a Harvard sweater carrying one box of goods under arm. A man at least twice his age had an arm around his waist, guiding him into the building, ensuring his young lover was in awe of his temporary home.

Trevor rolled his eyes and kept jogging.

It wasn’t the first time he had seen this man take in a younger lover, and he hoped the young man was well aware that he’d only be living there for a few short months. Trevor would feel sorry for these young men, but he knew they were taking just as much advantage of the older wealthier man. He had no sympathy for them at all.

The young man didn’t cross his mind again until several day later when rounding a corner they literally crashed into one another and ended up face first on the pavement. Trevor immediately stood up before he offered his hand to the stranger.

“Oh shit,” the shorter man muttered as he grabbed the proffered hand and pulled himself to his feet.

Trevor’s brow furrowed, the man seemed to be limping, he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” the man muttered, shaking off Trevor’s hand before turning to look at him. “Clearly you’re not.”

“What?” Trevor asked.

The man’s eyes flicked to his brow, “you’re gushing blood.”

Trevor raised a hand to his forehead and felt around, near his temple was something wet and sticky. He pulled his hand away and looked down at his now bright red fingers. It was certainly blood.

“Come upstairs,” the other man jerked his head over his shoulder. “I’ll clean you up and see if you need stitches.”

“Are you sure?” Trevor was cautious, he had seen the older man’s temper before. “What about--”

“Roger?” his green eyes sparkled and he cocked a brow.

“Yes.”

“He won’t be home till late. Besides,” the shorter man threw a wink. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

\--

The building was nothing flash, nor was the elevator were both men were currently standing in awkwardly. Trevor had never felt more uncomfortable, but he didn’t know if that was due to his head injury, or if it was because his mind was flooded with thoughts of the shorter man on his knees.

He couldn't understand it, but he felt as though he had met the shorter man before. Maybe he had been instantly attracted to him the moment he first saw him, or maybe they had met before in a dream, or in another life even.

Eventually the elevator reached its final destination, and with the ping of a bell the doors slid open revealing a short hall. At the end of the hall, or entrance way as it probably was, lay an ornate door. The shorter man stepped up to it and easily unlocked it. The door swung open to reveal an even more luxurious apartment than Trevor could have even imagined.

He to Trevor and cocked a brow at his enraptured expression. “Follow me.”

Trevor did as he was told and let himself be lead through the maze of rooms that made up this penthouse apartment the other man currently resided in. He tried to engage in polite conversation, “so what’s your name?”

The response was instant. “Rafael.”

“I’m Trevor,” he introduced himself as they entered a bathroom. He watched Rafael bend over and rifle through the cupboard under the basin, Trevor couldn’t help but appreciate the view.

“I can feel that,” Rafael huffed.

Trevor feigned ignorance. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“I know I have a great ass,” Rafael sounded certain of the fact. “Why else do you think Roger keeps me around?”

“I lived in hope that you were more than another pretty face,” Trevor couldn’t quite believe the words that had just fallen from his mouth.

Rafael stood up, a first aid kit in hand. He took a long look at Trevor, whose face was slowly turning red, before he responded with a purr. “You think I’m pretty?” Before Trevor could splutter out a response Rafael was upon him, antiseptic wipes in hand clearing off the blood. “Doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches--”

“Thank you,” Trevor couldn’t help but grow redder. “Where did you learn this?”

“Grew up in a rough neighbourhood,” Rafael shrugged as he continued to dab away the blood.

Once again Trevor blurted out a response. “I grew up in the area.”

“I assumed that,” Trevor winced at the sarcasm in the other man’s tone.

He tried another tack. “What about yourself?”

“I certainly didn’t grow up here--”

“I saw you wearing a Harvard sweater,” Trevor interrupted before he could be dismissed again.

“Almost done,” Rafael murmured as he pulled away. “I went to College at Harvard.”

“Law?”

“Obviously,” Rafael huffed, clearly trying to stifle a laugh.

Trevor continued to pry. “How do you find living here?”

“Like a dream,” the shorter man’s tone was drenched in sarcasm. “I’ll wake up sooner rather than later. Wait here,” He turned to grab something from the first aid kit, he removed it in triumph, a small band aid. “Hold still”

Trevor tried not to think about how ridiculous he was going to look with the thin bandage stuck to his temple. “You don’t think it’ll last between you and…?”

“I’m not naive, I know it won't,” Rafael sighed as he stuck the plastic over Trevor’s wound and then took a step back. “Done.”

“Be honest,” Trevor queried as he stood to look at himself in the mirror. “How bad does this look?”

“Looks worse than it actually is,” Rafael responded truthfully. “At least you’ll be able to take the band aid off in a couple of hours.”

“Thanks,” Trevor breathed as he turned to face his nurse.

Rafael just shrugged. “It’s the least I can do.” He turned to leave the bathroom, beckoning Trevor to follow over his shoulder. “What about yourself?”

“I went to Yale,” Trevor eagerly answered.

“Of course you did,” Rafael chuckled as they moved into a kitchen area. “Family tradition?”

“Of course,” Trevor sighed.

Rafael continued to dig at him, he turned and pulled to scotch glasses from a display case. “Then on to the family firm?”

“How did you know?” A frustrated groan escaped Trevor.

Rafael grabbed a bottle of scotch.  “I’m certain we’ve met before.” he then poured them each a glass before handing one to Trevor. “And I’m certain we did more than that.”

“I would hope so,” Trevor murmured as he raked his eye over the handsome young man before him.

“You played basketball?” Rafael asked as though he already knew the answer.

Trevor’s “yes” was far more huskier than he intended it to be. A flash of a memory from three years prior immediately hit him, this beautiful young man before him, on his knees, taking Trevor in his mouth-- Trevor couldn’t help but let out a small moan.

“Remember me now?” Rafael asked innocently as he took a sip from his drink.

Trevor set his own untouched drink down and stepped around the counter and over to the shorter man. He grasped Rafael’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting the younger man’s head up towards him. Trevor couldn’t help but lick his lips at the thought of what he wanted to do next. “May I?”

“God yes.”

That was all Trevor needed to hear. He leaned forward and claimed Rafael’s mouth with his own. Rafael, though, was hungry and wanted to dominate the kiss, breaking away before capturing Trevor’s bottom lip between his own. Trevor gasped when Rafael gently bit down.

He slid his hands down Rafael’s firm body and wrapped his arms under his hips. They broke apart, green eyes met grey before they dived in again. Trevor couldn’t help himself, he lifted Rafael up onto the counter and untucked his shirt so he could more easily explore the warm skin beneath. Trevor delighted in each moan he drew from Rafael every time he stroked his taut stomach.

“Wait,” The younger man gasped. “Stop.”

Trevor immediately stepped back. “I’m sorry--”

“Don’t apologise,” Rafael sounded sad, wounded even. “I just can’t. Roger--”

“Oh right,” Trevor winced at how bitter he sounded.

Rafael shook his head as he slid off the bench. “Let me walk you to the door.”

They walked through the apartment in silence, the air was thick with frustration, both men clearly disappointed with the outcome. They quickly reached the front door of the apartment, Trevor turned to face Rafael, he forced a smile on his face.

“It was good seeing you again,” he forced out before turning to make his leave.

A hand on his wrist stopped him, Rafael took a step closer before he reached up and pulled Trevor towards him. This time when their lips met the kiss was slower, bittersweet, and far too long.

It was Rafael who finally stepped away. “You need to go.”

“Goodbye Rafael,” Trevor murmured before he stepped out the door, Rafael’s own farewell sounded faint through the door.

Trevor made his way down the elevator, through the lobby and out of the building. As he walked down the street back towards his own apartment he couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across his face at the thought of the young man he just kissed. Even though he knew that nothing could come of a relationship with Rafael, he couldn’t help but imagine the possibilities, a world where the two of them could be happy together.

\--

Trevor swore he wouldn’t seek Rafael out.

And he didn’t.

It wasn’t Trevor’s fault that the younger man seemed to appear everywhere. At the grocery store, the liquor store, outside his father’s firm. But it wasn’t until he saw Rafael sitting at his favourite bar, nursing a martini, that Trevor found the nerve to approach him. He strode over, slid into the stool beside him and took a deep breath.

“Rafael,” he breathed.

He just cocked his brow. “Trevor.”

“I thought you drank scotch?” Trevor gestured to the Martini in front of Rafael.

“I’m learning,” the shorter man shrugged. “But I do appreciate other liquors.”

“I can see that,” Trevor couldn’t help but smile.

The bartender interrupted them with a gruff, “what do you want?”

“Whatever is on draft,” Trevor answered with a smile. He turned to see Rafael pulling a face. “And another Martini. What?”

“I expected you to drink something decent,” Rafael scoffed as he took a sip from his own cocktail.

“Scotch perhaps?” Trevor chuckled.

Rafael just rolled his eyes. “Wine.”

“Blame College,” Trevor chuckled. “I now have an appreciation of beer, the cheaper the better.”

“Good lord,” Rafael muttered before finishing off the rest of his drink.

“One beer,” Luckily the bartender placed their fresh drinks in front of them “And one dirty Martini.”

“So, Rafael,” Trevor begins as he takes a sip of beer. “What brings you here?”

“Roger’s away for the weekend,” the shorter man shrugged. “I was feeling lonely.”

“So you came to a bar to drink alone?” Trevor cocked his head.

“You could say that,” his tone turned sultry. “Or maybe I knew you frequented this bar.”

Trevor tried to hide his shock, but all he could do was squeak out a “how?”

“I saw you come in here one day,” Rafael chuckled, his facade completely gone. “It was just a stroke of luck that you came here tonight.”

Trevor couldn’t help the sound of disappointment that escaped. “Oh.”

“I am glad you’re here though,” a small smile graced Rafael’s face.

Trevor’s heart raced. “You are?”

“Yes,” Rafael stood up and gestured to Trevor to follow with his drink. Rafael guided them to a darkened booth in the corner of the bar, he slid in and gestured for Trevor to follow him. “Cheers,” He raised his Martini and wiggled it.

Trevor gently tapped his beer against the rim of the glass. “Cheers.”

The two of them talked into the evening, occasionally flagging down the bartender and ordering another drink. Their conversation was surprisingly easy for two almost strangers, their love of law binding them together. They exchanged stories from College, of professors and of client’s.

As the evening grew late, Rafael and moved closer and closer to Trevor until he was almost in his lap. He currently had a hand on the taller man’s thigh and had been stroking the taught fabric of his slacks for the past ten minutes.

“As I was saying earlier,” Rafael purred, a glint in his eye. “It was a stroke of luck on my part that you decided to come here, but I am glad.”

“Me too,” Trevor couldn’t help but blush as Rafael’s hand skirted over his crotch.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Rafael murmured, his hand reached for Trevor’s belt and tugged. “If that is okay?”

Trevor’s heart was beating so hard he swore he could feel it in his throat. He let out a croaky “yes” and tried not to turn red as Rafael’s smirk turned wicked.

“I’ll need a hand,” Rafael tugged at the belt again.

Trevor cock gave an eager twitch, he quickly looked around the bar and ensured no one was gazing at them before he deftly unbuckled his belt and shimmied his trousers down slightly. Rafael palmed him through the fabric of his briefs before he slid his hand inside, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. With an expert hand Rafael slowly tugged Trevor’s length through his briefs before he wrapped a hand around him.

“Oh yes,” Rafael purred as he slowly began to stroke Trevor’s cock. “Just as I remember.”

Trevor tried not to throw his head back, or moan at the sensation of Rafael’s hand moving up and down, twisting before he ran a thumb over the sensitive head. The man himself had a bored look on his face as he continued to move his hand, at one point he picked up his Martini and took a sip.

As Trevor bit back a moan, Rafael let out a chuckle. “Having fun?” He sounded so innocent.

Trevor couldn’t help but pant his answer, “Almost.”

“Good,” Rafael’s chuckle was breathy, aroused even.

 

At the sound of his voice, Trevor couldn’t help but buck his hips into Rafael’s eager hand. He was lost to the sensation of Rafael’s body pressed against his, grinding against him. The other man’s hand on his cock, stroking faster, tighter, until finally Trevor finally finished all over him. Rafael continued to gently pump Trevor’s over sensitive cock until his orgasm had finally finished.

Trevor was breathless and his head was spinning, he barely registered Rafael talking to him. “Sorry,” He mumbled. “What did you ask?”

“Can I grab your napkins please?” His response was polite. Trevor grabbed the napkins and hastily shoved them at Rafael, he watched the younger man clean himself up before he nodded at Trevor. “You may want to tuck yourself away.”

Trevor quickly completed his instructions. “Did you want me to--”

“Trust me,” he threw Trevor a wink. “I am fine.” Only when Rafael slid out of the booth Trevor noticed the stain on the front of his slacks. “I need to get going, I need to be fully prepared for when Roger returns in the morning.”

“Wait,” Trevor quickly clamboured out of the booth. “When can I see you again?”

“We’ll work something out.”

\--

Rafael’s version of working something out wasn’t quite what Trevor had in mind. Every so often he would find the man sitting at a bar and they would end up in the bathroom, one or both of them on their knees pleasuring the other. Although the arrangement wasn’t ideal, Trevor couldn’t help but look for the familiar green eyed brunette each time he stepped into a bar.

This evening was different though, Trevor could tell the moment he stepped into the bar. Rafael’s eyes were immediately upon him, he stood up and grabbed his coat and headed straight for Trevor. He grabbed Trevor’s hand and pulled him out of the bar and onto the street.

“Roger is away for the week,” Rafael murmured before pulling Trevor down into a kiss. “Take me home?”

“Are you sure?” Trevor murmured, hoping desperately that his answer would be yes.

Rafael didn’t disappoint. “Yes.” 

Trevor’s apartment was only a few blocks away, but the two men were easily distracted. Every so often Rafael would tug Trevor into a kiss, and Trevor couldn’t help but melt into it. When they finally reached his apartment building Trevor grew nervous, his apartment was tiny compared to the penthouse where Rafael currently resided.

Like the first elevator ride they shared the air was thick with tension, of another sort than previously. As soon as the doors closed Rafael was on him, pressing Trevor against the cool silver walls of the lift, his mouth hot against Trevor’s. When the doors finally opened again. Trevor dragged Rafael towards the front door of his apartment, eager to get the man inside.

“Don’t be too disappointed,” Trevor laughed to hide his nerves.

Rafael just rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’s lovely.”

He had nothing to worry about, as soon as they were inside Rafael was begging Trevor to fuck him. Trevor was more than happy to do so, and so he did, again, and again and again. They spent a week fucking against every surface of the apartment, both men calling in sick to their respective jobs.

It wasn’t until their last night together the atmosphere between them changed. Trevor was sitting on the couch in his pajamas when Rafael sashayed over wearing nothing but Trevor’s ratty old dressing gown. Trevor’s mouth went dry as he raked his gaze over the handsome man walking towards him. Even in something well loved Rafael still somehow managed to look ridiculously sexy. He straddled Trevor and folded his long, elegant arms around the taller man’s neck.

He leaned forward and in a husky voice, whispered into Trevor’s ear. “Take me to bed.”

Trevor couldn’t help but oblige.

He pulled the shorter man towards him, their foreheads bumped together, which in turn caused Rafael to chuckle. Trevor pressed a kiss against the other man’s jaw, distracting him as he snaked his hands under his backside. He took a deep breath and stood, lifting the smaller man with him as he rose. Rafael wrapped his arms around Trevor’s shoulder’s and burrowed into his neck. Trevor carried him down the hall and into his bedroom, before he finally gently laid Rafael out before him.

The man looked a vision in the frayed deep purple robe. Rafael looked at Trevor, a brow cocked and a smirk on his handsome face that matched the twinkle in his viridian eyes.  “Are you just going to stare or…”

Trevor tugged his own shirt over his head and discarded it before he climbed on top of the bed to straddle his lover. He tugged at the belt of the robe until it loosened enough for Trevor to unwrap Rafael and admire the bronze skin hidden within. Trevor couldn’t help but reach out and touch the younger man’s chest. He leaned down so he was close enough to kiss every inch of skin he caressed.

He skirted his hands down Rafael’s sides, kissing his way down his sternum, his stomach, until Trevor reached Rafael’s cock which was slowly swelling to attention. Trevor looked up, revelling in the soft smile on the other man’s face.

“May I?” Trevor’s voice was husky.

Rafael’s responding laugh was breathy and filled with lust. “You have to ask?”

“Always,” Trevor threw him a wink. “Feel free to grab my hair.”

Rafael immediately wove his finger’s through Trevor’s locks and gently guided him back down. Trevor breathed in Rafael’s musky scent before he took him in his hand and swirled his tongue around the aching head of Rafael’s cock. He loved the way Rafael moaned as he slowly sucked and pumped his hand. Trevor pulled away causing Rafael’s grip on his hair to tighten.

“Pass me a pillow,” Rafael eagerly followed Trevor’s request. “Raise your hips.”

Trevor slid the pillow under Rafael’s hips before encouraging him to spread his legs. He bit into the inside of Rafael’s left thigh before hooking it over his shoulder, he then did the same with Rafael’s right, relishing in the taste of the other man. He spread Rafael open before he licked a long stripe across Rafael’s hole, Trevor was rewarded with a moan and the feeling of Rafael’s long fingers tangled in his hair once more.

He slowly tongued Rafael’s entrance, enjoying the mewling sounds the younger man made, before he finally pushed past the tight ring of muscle into Rafael’s heat. The moan that tore through Rafael went straight to Trevor’s cock. He had to work hard to steady his lover as he continued to thrash and moan against Trevor’s tongue.

“More,” Rafael’s voice was husky and slightly desperate.

Trevor nodded before reaching up and gently tugging Rafael’s hand free. He scrambled over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom and the small bottle of lube contained within before he rushed back to his lover. Trevor cursed his lack of foresight as he slicked his fingers.

Rafael was growing impatient, Trevor could tell by the overdramatic sounds he was making. The taller man lowered his head once more and slowly traced Rafael’s tight ring of muscle before he slowly sank a finger inside. Rafael bucked his hips as he clenched around Trevor’s finger, he moaned as Trevor located the sensitive spot within. He soon added a second finger, scissoring the man, stretching him open.  

Rafael choked out a gasp. “I’m ready, please.”

“Are you sure?” Trevor asked as he crooked his fingers to brush against that spot that made Rafael moan.

Rafael’s tone turned sharp and commanding, his eyes dark with lust. “Fuck me, now.”

Trevor tore open the condom and rolled it onto his hard cock. He slicked himself before he slowly pushed into Rafael’s warm, inviting heat, inch by inch, until he was fully seated. He allowed Rafael a moment to adjust to his length before he slowly rolled his hips and rocked into Rafael’s body.

He slowly leaned forward to press a soft, gentle kiss to Rafael’s mouth. Rafael wasn’t having a bar of it though. He reached up and wove his long fingers through Trevor’s hair and kissed him deeply, passionately, as though it was the last kiss they would ever share. It was then their rhythm changed.

Trevor moved Rafael into a sitting position and drew long, sweet kisses from Rafael’s lips as their bodies moved together. Grey eyes locked with green, as they pressed their foreheads together Trevor whispered sweet nothings into Rafael’s ear. He reached between them and grasped Rafael’s cock in his hand and stroked him in time with his gentle thrusts. Trevor couldn’t believe how amazing he felt, thrusting into Rafael, staring him straight in the eye.

Rafael started to pant and his head fell into the crook of Trevor’s neck. Trevor’s own breath was starting to stutter, he was close, and he could tell Rafael was too. Rafael’s stuttered whisper of “Trevor, please” was all he needed to spill over the edge. He sped up his strokes as Rafael clenched around him, his head thrown back. Trevor couldn’t help but bite into the man’s neck, he reveled in Rafael’s moan as he spilled into his hand.

Trevor pulled out before he allowed Rafael to collapse onto the bed with him, their limbs tangled together. Trevor waited for his high to fade before he reached into his night stand to pull out a packet of wipes. He pressed a kiss into Rafael’s neck as he slowly started to clean up their mess.

Soon Rafael pulled away and sat up. His back was tense, his shoulders hunched as he reached down to pick up his scattered clothing.

“Rafael?” Trevor tentatively placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“We can’t do this again,” Rafael muttered, sliding his underwear up over his hips. “Roger is due back this evening.”

“What are you saying?” Trevor’s heart was pounding against his rib cage.

Rafael turned to meet his gaze. “It’s been fun Trevor, but we need to go back to our previous relationship.”’

“What if I don’t want that?” Trevor winced at how desperate he sounded.

“Trevo--”

“Come away with me,” He pleaded as he slid over to the other man and wrapped an arm around him. “Move in with me.”

“Please don’t,” Rafael shrugged him off. “You don’t actually want this, you don’t actually want me.”

“I do,” Trevor pressed a kiss into his neck. “Rafael I lo--”

“Don’t say it,” Rafael stood up and pulled up his slacks.

“Think about it,” Trevor watched Rafael locate his shirt. “Please. We could be happy.”

Rafael closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I just don’t know,” he whispered as he shrugged his shirt over his shoulders.

“Look,” Trevor rolled over and grabbed a piece of paper, he jotted down his work and personal numbers. “Here’s my number.” He turned and pressed the card into Rafael’s hand. “If you change your mind, call me.”

“Goodbye Trevor,” Rafael leaned down and pressed a kiss into Trevor’s mouth.

Trevor watched as he collected his things and walked out the door. He choked out his response, hoping the other man heard him. “Goodbye Rafael.”

\--

It had been almost a month since Trevor had seen or even heard anything from Rafael and he was starting to get antsy. He contemplated calling into the apartment block and asking for Rafael, but he knew that would not be conducive, that Rafael would be angry. So he waited, and waited and waited, until finally one day he saw Roger.

With his new, young, boyfriend.

An icy sensation washed over Trevor. Rafael was gone.

Rafael was gone and he never called. Trevor’s heart grew heavy, each thump against his rib cage hurt. This was the second time he had given the younger man his number, and this was the second time Rafael had discarded it. Trevor called in sick and spent the rest of the day curled on his couch, reading, watching television, anything to distract him from the dark thoughts plaguing his mind.  

Rafael didn’t want him.

Rafael didn’t love him.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, but hopefully the chapter is worth it. 
> 
> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

It was Valentine’s day, and Rafael had no interest in spending the day celebrating, so he had locked himself in his office and kept himself busy with work. Unfortunately his plans were ruined when the DA’s secretary had come knocking. As it was a Friday afternoon and the DA had plans, they had decided to let all the staff leave early. Translation, Rafael had to get out and not return until Monday.

So Rafael had shoved as much work into his briefcase as possible and had planned to head home and throw himself back into work. Fate though, seemingly had other plans. His subway line was broken, there were no taxis in sight and the walk home was far too long to contemplate. That was how Rafael found himself in a cafe, shoved in the corner, papers strewn everywhere.

The worst part, though? He was surrounded by loving couples.

Rafael didn't understand why everyone seemed so determined to make such a big deal over a holiday which was literally designed to make people spend money. On the odd occasion when Rafael was in a relationship over Valentine’s he had never celebrated, and had gone out of his way to avoid spending time with his partner on that day. Now he was single he had completely forgotten the ‘holiday’ existed, otherwise he would have ordered in.

As he poured through his work he tried to ignore the happy conversations happening around him. It was no use; he quickly finished his meal, packed away his work and threw a hefty tip on the table. He flagged the waitress, ensuring she was aware that he was leaving before he maneuvered his way through the cafe, dodging loving couples as he struggled towards the entrance. When he finally stepped out of the cafe, out into the cool and straight into a solid figure.

“Shit,” Rafael exclaimed as he collided with the pavement. He scrambled to his feet he thanked his lucky stars that his briefcase hadn’t opened.

“Sorry,” a slightly familiar voice rushed out. “I wasn’t paying attention and--”

Rafael’s stomach twisted, he knew that voice. He looked up to see familiar steel gray eyes, and a smile flickered across his face as he breathed out the man’s name. “Trevor.”

“Rafael,” the taller man sounded less enthused to see him.

“It’s been a while,” he acknowledged as he raked his eyes over the form in front of him. “You look good.”

“Some may say years,” Trevor chuckled at his own joke before his tone turned soft. “You do too.”

There was a jingle of a bell in the doorway, and Trevor grabbed Rafael and guided him to the side. The taller man was standing so close Rafael could smell his cologne, the familiar smell made the prosecutor relax.

Rafael couldn’t help but ask the man, “What have you been doing with yourself?”

“Still working for my father,” Trevor offered the information freely. “Though I almost have enough saved to rent a small space and a friend willing to open a firm with me.”

“That’s good to hear,” Rafael was surprised at how genuine his answer was.

Trevor nodded stoically. “Thank you.”

Rafael waited for a question that never came, the silence that fell between them awkward. Trevor shuffled on the spot, looking as though he wanted to leave. “Well--”

“Aren’t you going to ask what I have been up to?” Rafael interrupted. He didn’t want this to be it, not when he had been hoping to run into the man for years.

A perplexed expression fell on the defense attorney’s face. “I remember you weren’t one for small talk.”

“You’ve always been an exception to the rule,” Rafael felt his smile softly curl into a smirk.

Trevor chuckled before he finally asked, “What have you been doing with yourself, Rafael?”

“I’m currently working for the Brooklyn DA’s Office,” the pride shone through his voice.

Trevor cocked his brow. “I would have thought you’d want something better paying.”

“What do you mean?” Rafael couldn’t help but feel slightly insulted. “You know it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.”

“You have a thing for wealthy men with large wallets,” Trevor shrugged.

Rafael schooled his expression, allowing his tone to turn harsh. “Excuse me?” He could not believe that the man in front of him would ask that.

“Come on, Rafael,” Trevor rolled his eyes. The man clearly knew something Rafael didn’t. “Don’t play coy.”

Rafael chose his next words carefully. “I don’t like what you’re implying.”

“How many sugar daddies have you had?” The question practically burst from the defense attorney.

“Just the one,” Rafael responded coolly, absolutely appalled by the taller man. “After Roger I decided not to repeat the experience.”

“Is that why you didn’t call me then?” Trevor bit back, and realization dawned on Rafael. “You didn’t want to ‘repeat the experience.’”

“No,” he answered quietly, unsure how to explain himself to this man who was still hurting.

“Was I just a bit of fun then?” Trevor continued to rant. “A distraction from your situation?”

“Of course not--”

“Well then why didn’t you call?” He sounded genuinely distraught.

Rafael tried to explain. “I lost your card.”

“Sure you did,” the scowl on Trevor’s face made him look adorable. “Just like you did in College, right?”

“I was so stupid back then,” Rafael sighed, not wanting to explain himself.

Trevor kept pushing. “And what about last time? Scared of a commitment?”

“Roger found the card,” Rafael stared the taller man down. “He found it, he realized I’d been seeing someone else, tore up your card and kicked me out.”

“Rafael I--”

“Save it,” Rafael scoffed. “I don’t care.”

“Why didn’t you call me at the firm?” Trevor questioned softly.

Rafael shrugged. “I tried, they refused to even pass on a message without a referral.”

“Figures,” Trevor scoffed. “My father is protective of me.” His eyes then turned soft. “I looked for you,” Trevor murmured, taking a step forward and placing a hand awkwardly on Rafael’s shoulder. “For weeks. When I couldn’t find you I told myself what I needed to hear to forget you.”

“Did it work?” Rafael asked, hoping to hear the answer he wanted to.

“Obviously not,” Trevor’s smile was soft. “What are you doing this evening?”

“Going home,” Rafael shrugged. “Working.”

“But it’s Valentine’s day,” Trevor exclaimed.

Rafael cocked a brow. “I know.”

“Spend the rest of the evening with me?” Trevor murmured as he took another step towards Rafael.

He was so close that Rafael could feel the heat radiating off the taller man. “Trevor--”

“Please?” He sounded desperate. Rafael’s stomach fluttered.

The prosecutor couldn’t help but answer, “Okay.”

\--

They stopped by Rafael’s apartment so he could drop his briefcase and change into something more casual while Trevor waited for him in the lobby. Rafael settled on a pair of dark blue jeans, a button up shirt and one of his more casual jackets. He ran some mouse through his hair, styling it slightly so he looked less worn and more presentable. He slipped a condom and a packet of lube into his wallet just in case they were needed. He had been going through a bit of a dry spell since starting with the DA’s office, and if Trevor wanted to he wouldn’t be saying no.

When he finally rejoined the taller man in the lobby looked him up and down, he clearly enjoyed the effort that Rafael had made. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” Rafael couldn’t help the cockiness of his tone.

Trevor then took him by the hand, linking their fingers together. They stayed like that until they descended underground into the subway. It was two trains until they reached the familiar stop and Rafael found himself climbing the stairs up into his old neighborhood.

“A little presumptuous, are we?” Rafael smirked at Trevor when they found themselves outside of the taller man’s building.

Trevor just laughed. “Wait in the lobby, I’ll be back soon.”

Rafael tried not to show just how disappointed he was when the man disappeared into an elevator. He couldn’t fault the man for being cautious, but Rafael just wanted to know what the man was planning. As he impatiently waited, hundreds of scenarios flooded his mind, which only increased the prosecutor’s frustration.

When the elevator doors opened to reveal Trevor, Rafael was absolutely floored. The man was always handsome, but he looked absolutely stunning in dark slacks and a navy blue button up. He flashed Rafael a sheepish smile before he took his hand and led him out of the apartment building.

“It’s a bit of a trek,” Trevor smiled at Rafael. “But I know exactly where I want to take you for dessert.”

“Oh?” Rafael couldn’t help but be curious.

Trevor chuckled as he asked. “You don’t mind walking do you?”

“Of course not,” Rafael shrugged before he let the taller man guide him down the street.

As they walked through the neighborhood, Rafael could see that things had changed little in the years since he had last stepped foot in the area. He thought upon Roger’s apartment and his collection of antiques. He supposed that the rich were happy to remain in their bubble while the rest of the world moved around them.

Trevor, though -- Rafael had never quite been able to get a handle on the man. From the first moment they met he was surprisingly genuine, and not nearly as snobby as his fellow students at Harvard had been. Even now as they strode through the upper east side, the taller man kept the conversation light and fun.

Then a familiar figure rounded the corner, one that Rafael could have happily spent the rest of his life without seeing again. The man was now well into his sixties, finely dressed and strolling down the street without a care in the world. That was until he saw Rafael, then a sneer appeared on his face. “Rafael.”

“Roger,” he responded with a nod.

The older man eyed Rafael off before he stated, “I didn’t expect to see you in this neighborhood again.”

“Visiting a friend,” Rafael dismissed the older man.

Roger’s gaze turned to Trevor. “I see.”

“Trevor Langan,” the taller man politely extended his hand.

“Richard Langan’s boy?” Trevor’s shoulders tensed, clearly he didn’t like being talked down to. His gaze flicked between Trevor and Rafael, a nasty smile curling onto his face. “I see.”

“Excuse me?” Trevor scowled, drawing Rafael into him.

Roger gave Trevor a look of absolute pity. “Your father will be so disappointed.”

“My father is already disappointed in my life choices,” Trevor shrugged. “I’m sure that dating a man is the least of his concerns.”

Roger laughed darkly. “Hasn’t he told you about me?”

“My father?” Trevor’s brow furrowed in confusion.

The older man scoffed. “Rafael.”

“Of course he has,” Trevor rolled his eyes. “I’ve known about you for years.”

Rafael choked back a laugh. “Trevor--”

“He and I used to laugh about you all the time.” Each word that Trevor uttered was pointed and aimed to wound the older man. “Especially when you were away for the weekend.”

Roger opened his mouth and then a look of realization dawned on the man’s face. He looked from Rafael to Trevor then back to Rafael again, his eyes narrowed and the realization turned to disgust.

“Enjoy my cast off,” Roger snarled before he turned on his heel and walked away.

“Well actually,” Trevor called after him. “We’ve been hooking up since College.”

“Trevor,” Rafael hissed, absolutely mortified.

The taller man at least had the decency to look sheepish. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been wanting to say something about you to him for years.”

“I’m glad I could be there,” his laughter was genuine. They walked in comfortable silence for a while until Rafael couldn’t help but fill it.  “Where is this dessert place?”

“A few more blocks away,” his smile was soft, his face flushed red.

Again Rafael barked out a laugh. “Well then, lead the way.”

\--

Dessert turned out to be a little bar which served boozy desserts. They ordered their ice cream before they decided to stroll towards Bobby Wagner Walk. As they ate their desserts they talked about everything and nothing. The conversation flowed surprisingly easily and the silences that fell between them were warm and amicable.

After finishing their dessert the two men turned to each other, fond smiles gracing both their faces. As it was cold near the water’s edge, Rafael found himself stepping closer to Trevor, relishing in the warmth the taller man radiated. Trevor extended an arm, a silent invitation for the shorter man to press himself against his body. Rafael eagerly accepted.

“What now?” He mumbled into Trevor’s side.

The taller man squeezed him before he responded. “What do you mean?”

“It’s late,” he stopped to gaze up at the taller man. “But I don’t want this evening to end. Who knows when we’ll next run into each other.”

“Rafael,” Trevor’s whole body shook as he laughed. “You sound like a romance novel.”

“Shut up.” That just made the man laugh harder.

“A bad romance novel,” Trevor stated after he had finally stopped laughing.

“I’m feeling rather unappreciated right now,” Rafael drawled through a poor imitation of a British accent. “Maybe we should part ways now, kind sir.”

Trevor just rolled his eyes. “Funny.”

“Thank you,” Rafael felt rather satisfied.

Trevor’s tone turned gentle, he turned to Rafael and grabbed his hand. “Walk with me?”

Rafael didn’t hesitate with his answer. “Yes.”

The two of them walked through the streets until they reached the river and Bobby Wagner’s walk. They gazed out over the east river enjoying the lights of the city on the other side before turning and strolling south along the walk.

Every joke, every laugh, every gentle shove spurred the two men to talk a little longer, to walk a little further, completely and utterly wrapped in one another. Eventually the hour turned early and the two men watched the sunrise over Brooklyn, the city lights slowly flickering as the sun crept up over the horizon. The skyline bathed in beautiful, warm sunlight.

“Shit,” Rafael swore, looking at his watch. “It’s seven, I need to be at work.”

Trevor just chuckled and drew Rafael towards him. “Have breakfast with me?”

“Trevor--”

Trevor reached up and cupped Rafael’s cheek with his hand. “Please?”

Rafael practically melted. He nodded slightly before standing up on his toes and pressing his lips against the taller man’s. Trevor slowly opened his mouth and kissed back, raising his other hand so he could completely cup Rafael’s face. The prosecutor couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, causing Trevor to smile back.

“I’ve missed you,” Rafael was earnest in his confession.

“Rafael,” Trevor moaned before he leaned down and captured Rafael’s mouth in another searing kiss. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear those words.”

Rafael couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the defense attorney peppered his face, his jaw, _his neck_ , with kisses. Eventually he had to pull him off and gently scoff. “So breakfast?”

“Follow me.”

\--

Breakfast consisted of light, fluffy pancakes and rich, freshly brewed coffee. They had hopped on a train to Brooklyn and found a cafe nestled into the side of a building. Rafael enjoyed every minute knowing that he would probably never find the cafe again. All too soon their meal, which Trevor insisted on paying for, was over and Rafael felt his heart twinge.

“I guess this is it?” He chuckled, amused by the fact that this was the second time in less than twelve hours they would be having this conversation.

A small frown flitted across the taller man’s face. He took a step towards Rafael, and reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. Automatically Rafael pressed closer to him and tilted his head upwards, their lips grazed together sending a tingle through Rafael.

Trevor reached up to cup Rafael’s cheek. “Walk with me.”

“I do have to get to work eventually,” Rafael chuckled softly, though the words were hollow. He didn’t want to go into work, he didn’t want this day to end.

Trevor was incorrigible. “Call in sick.”

“Trevor,” Rafael rose his brow.

“Come on,” Trevor continued playfully. “You know you want to.”

Rafael felt a smirk creep onto his features as he looked up at the taller man, who was holding out a mobile phone. Rafael couldn’t help but cock his eye at the device but he willingly accepted it and made the call.

“Rachel? Hi, it’s Rafael,” the woman sounded amused, Rafael was never late. “Yes, thank you.” She asked him how she was. “Look Rachel I am not feeling--” She cut him off and told him to take the day, explaining her reasoning. “If you’re certain, thank you.” Rafael ended the call before he turned to Trevor and handed him back his mobile. “She said just take the day and call back if I need more time. Apparently this was my first sick day and no one wants to catch whatever virus I probably have.”

Trevor’s laugh was so loud it made Rafael jump. “I wonder what’ll happen when they work out you were playing hooky?”

“They’d probably be relieved I am human,” the prosecutor couldn’t help but laugh alongside him.

Trevor grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Rafael eagerly followed.

Trevor looked at him, his head tilted and a smirk on his face.“I’m going to take you on the ride of your life.”

Rafael chuckled appreciatively, thoughts of less than pure activities racing through his mind. Rafael was hesitant to voice these thoughts as it appeared that Trevor was clearly on a mission. He lead Rafael past an entrance to the subway and down towards the Brooklyn Bridge Park.

“Jane’s Carousel?” Rafael scoffed when they finally reached their destination. “Really?”

“Why not?” Trevor shrugged with a laugh. “I’ve never ridden it before.” He turned to Rafael’s “Have you?”

“I was expecting something a little more adult when you said ‘ride of your life’,” the prosecutor admitted.

“What can I say?“ The taller man’s smirk was fond. “I’m young at heart.”

Rafael cocked his brow. “A child even.”

“Come on,” Trevor tugged Rafael towards the carousel. “My treat.”

“No,” his green eyes sparkled in mirth as he purred. “This ride is on me.”

\--

Rafael felt ridiculous, clinging to the back of his horse as it rose up and down, and up and down. Trevor looked ecstatic, he had kept a hand on Rafael’s back during every ride and rubbed warm reassuring circles. After three rides Rafael declared he had enough, he stood to the side and watched Trevor ride round and round.

Then everything went to hell.

There were three loud sharp bangs, Rafael’s stomach fell, he knew those sounds far too well. Gunshots.

The crowd exploded, as people began to panic. Rafael felt himself getting pushed to the side as people swarmed around him, he looked for Trevor, certain that he would be able to see him standing over the crowd, but there was no tall figure in sight. Rafael ran onto the round about and looked for a sign, maybe Trevor was hiding in an elephant, but he was nowhere in sight.

Police began to arrive at the area, after giving a brief statement and his contact details in case they wanted to speak with him further he headed back home, an aching feeling in his body. His finger’s had brushed a chance at happiness, one perfect evening with a near perfect human being. Not for the first time Rafael cursed himself for being an idiot and throwing away Trevor Langan’s contact details all those years ago.

As he unlocked the door of his apartment a sad smile fell upon his features. At least he had the rest of the day off work; he could spend the rest of his day sulking and alone. Just like it seemed he always would be.  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for another delay, I am estimating another three weeks before the next chapter, but hopefully the it's worth it. I'm going through some changes in my personal life and it's impacting my writing.
> 
> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Trevor never really understood why he always agreed to these things, but his sister, Sarah, always had a way to talk him into situations he wasn’t quite comfortable with.

‘ _It’s for charity_ ,’ she had said with far too smug grin.

‘ _It’s for a good cause_ ,’ was her second attempt.

It was her last attempt that had actually made him agree.

‘ _It’ll help you get over Gerald_ ,’ she had stated, her tone solemn.

Trevor had spent far too long pining over unattainable men, _one unattainable man_ his brain had unhelpfully corrected. Gerald wanted more than Trevor was willing to give so the older man walked away and once more Trevor was helplessly single. Which is how he ended up in slim jeans and a fitted tee, standing backstage with the other ‘bachelors’ his sister and her friends had guilted into participating.

It seemed as though the event had drawn a large crowd, the comedian they had hired had caused an uproar and he was sure the copious amounts of overpriced alcohol they were selling was helping the crowd loosen up. Then the auction began, a name would be called onto the stage, a bachelor would disappear then be subjected to cat calls and jeers from the various audience members, Trevor was dreading his turn.

Sarah was clearly a mind reader though, and his name was called.

Trevor slowly made his way past his fellow bachelors, up the stairs and onto the brightly lit stage. As he emerged the crowd clapped and cheered, some of them not even trying to hide their interest as they eyed him off. Trevor gave his sister a pointed look, she just smirked at him, shrugging before she turned back to the microphone.

“Trevor Langan is an attorney,” Sarah began, she was clearly enjoying herself far too much. “He is a founding partner at Henshall and Langan, enjoys spending his spare time reading, going to the theatre and playing with his cat. He is recently single and if you play your cards right he may be yours for more than just one night.”

She gestured at Trevor to make his way across the stage, he rolled his eyes but did so without fuss. As he walked across the stage his eyes scanned the crowd, his heart froze the moment that he saw a very familiar pair of striking viridian eyes gaze up at him from the crowd.

Rafael Barba, as handsome as Trevor remembered, was standing in the crowd at his sister’s bachelor auction. He had a martini in one hand and a smirk on his face, he quirked his brow at Trevor, making sure that the defense attorney knew he was in the audience. He then raked his eyes slowly up and down Trevor’s form, an appreciative smile graced his face as he locked eyes with Trevor once more.

Trevor was so transfixed by the man he almost missed Sarah starting the auction. “Bidding for Trevor starts at five hundred dollars.”

“Five hundred,” Rafael’s crisp clean voice carried across the room.

Immediately someone responded. “Five ten.”

“Five fifty,” Another person shouted.

Then another raised their hand. “Six hundred.”

“Six fifty,” Rafael called out as cool as a cucumber, his brow cocked and a smirk on his face.

Someone shrieked another bid. “Six eighty.”

“Seven hundred,” another woman leapt up.

There was silence, Rafael gave Trevor a long look as though he was sizing the man up. Unfortunately he held his silence for a tad too long, Trevor’s sister jumped in to wrap up the bid.

“Seven hundred,” she called out theatrically. “Can anyone top that?”

Rafael casually stuck up his hand. “Eight hundred.”

“A thousand,” His main rival shouted, throwing the prosecutor a nasty glare.

Trevor glanced at Rafael, this time the man had a tight frown on his face. He locked eyes with Trevor and shrugged apologetically.

“Fifteen hundred,” A new voice leisurely called out, it was the woman sitting next to Rafael. She had a look of amusement in her eye, which made up for the unimpressed look on Rafael’s face.

“Fifteen hundred,” Sarah shouted, the glee apparent in her voice. “Anyone want to beat that? No?” There were some hushed whispers before the room went silent. “Fifteen hundred. Going once, going twice,” “Sold! To number one three seven”

Trevor took a deep breath and flashed another bright smile before he exited the stage and joined the rest of the auctioned off men. As they waited for the auction to end they chatted about the women and men who had purchased them for an evening. Trevor ignored the conversation, only interjecting when people began to talk about sleeping with those who purchased them. Eventually the last man was auctioned and one of the organizers told them to go, mingle and eventually locate the person they would be spending the rest of their evening with.

Trevor scanned the crowd, his heart racing, his palms sweating. It only took a moment before his eyes fell on Rafael, he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. As though he could sense Trevor the man looked up, stunning green eyes locked with swirling silver ones, the stern look on Rafael’s face softened. Trevor strode over and within seconds he was standing beside the man he had dreamed of for years, suddenly so real he just wanted to reach out and touch.

Rafael’s friend had an amused expression on her face as her eyes kept flicking between the two men. Trevor turned his attention on her and extended his hand. “Trevor Langan, on behalf of the organization I would like to thank you for your donation.”

“Rita Calhoun,” The woman shook his hand. “And you already know Rafael, of course.” She then turned to her friend, her smirk had grown wider. “He’s all yours Rafael, I have my own date to attend to.” With that she was gone.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Rafael chuckled forcing Trevor’s attention to return.

Trevor just laughed, not quite believing what the man had just said. “Did you see my name on the list?”

“Honestly? I didn’t even know I was coming till a few hours ago,” Rafael shrugged before he took a step closer to Trevor. “Rita dragged me along.”

“Rita Calhoun?” Trevor looked over to where Rafael’s friend was flirting with another one of the Bachelor’s.

The prosecutor cocked his brow. “Yes.”

“I thought you would have stopped speaking with her once she left the DA’s office,” Trevor said with a soft smile.

“I almost did,” Rafael’s face fell into a playful scowl. “She seduced me with good scotch and a handsome man.”

“You’re not single then?” Trevor’s words were a little too eager.

Rafael tilted his head to the side, a smirk curled onto his face. “Recently so.”

“Good,” Trevor’s response was firmer than he expected, a light blush flared across his cheeks. “Uh--I mean--”

The prosecutor’s smirk turned soft, his tone was fonder than Trevor had hoped. “I know what you mean.”

“Rafael,” Rita called out from across the room as she strode across the room back towards them, her bachelor stomping behind. “I’m heading off with my date. You have fun now.”

“Goodbye Rita,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

Rita pressed a kiss to her friend’s cheek before sending Trevor an appreciative look. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do to that one.”

“She hasn’t changed since College,” Rafael muttered drily, before he flicked his gaze towards the taller man.

He was surprised at the chuckle that escaped. “You’ve known her that long?”

“She dragged me along to the party we met at,” the prosecutor’s tone was wistful, a soft smile crept onto his face.

Trevor couldn’t help but muse. “I’ll need to send her flowers one day.”

“She’d never let me hear the end of it,” the prosecutor rolled his eyes, before his tone changed again. “So…”

“So?” he couldn’t help but tease the prosecutor.

Rafael refused to rise to the bait. “I believe you owe me a date.”

“I believe you are correct,” his heart pounded against his rib cage, Trevor had no idea how he managed to sound so confident. “Where to? A restaurant? A bar?”

“Come with me,” Rafael’s tone was low as he took Trevor by the arm. “I promise you won't regret it.”

All Trevor could concentrate on was the hot press of the shorter man’s form against his own. As he was escorted from the premises he chose to ignore the concerned look his sister was throwing him, instead he held his head high as he walked out the doors. He had hope that it was now his and Rafael’s time. Otherwise he would have second guessed his choice. So he held on tight to the prosecutor, smiled at him, chatted to him as they waited for their car and allowed himself that slither of hope that after this evening he and Rafael would finally be together.

\--

The bar was classier than the one they used to frequent together and the top shelf scotch was less affordable. The prosecutor was predictable though and ordered a macallan twelve for himself and whatever was on tap for Trevor. They clinked their glasses together before taking a sip of their respective drinks and then carrying them to a booth at the back of the bar.

They talked for a while until Rafael slammed his scotch on the table. “I’m looking for a new job.”

“Oh?” Trevor’s heart pounded and his stomach swam, if Rafael moved to Manhattan they would be a ten minute cab ride from one another. “Following Rita?”

“No,” Rafael glared at Trevor while he laughed. “At level, maybe another DA’s office?” he continued to explain. “I’m looking for a change, my cases are higher profile than what they were.”

“That’s good,” he was impressed, the DA clearly trusted the man. He raised his drink to the man. “Congratulations. And about time probably.”

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded before taking a sip of his scotch. “What about you, Trevor? How did you find yourself for sale.”

“Nasty break up,” Trevor answered honestly.

Rafael attempted to hide his pleased smirk with a cocked brow. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No you’re not,” the taller man chuckled before he took another sip of his beer.

“I’m not,” the prosecutor hummed in agreement. “Not at all.” Rafael leaned towards Trevor, he could feel the ADA’s hand rest on his knee. “I am very happy about that fact.”

“Oh?” Trevor swallowed, trying to keep himself calm and collected.

As Rafael’s hand crept up his thigh a memory of a similar indiscretion flashed through Trevor’s mind. He grabbed Rafael’s hand and moved it up towards his mouth before he pressed a kiss to the younger man’s palm. He took a deep breath before directing his gaze directly at Rafael, staring into the forest green eyes that had haunted his memory.

“If we’re going to do anything tonight,” Trevor kept his voice serious though he allowed his mouth to curve into a wicked smile. “I want some semblance of privacy.”

He watched the prosecutor down the rest of his scotch, then Rafael leaned over, his breath ghosted against Trevor’s ear. “Slowly finish your beer and meet me in the restroom.”

He flashed one last smirk before he slid out of the booth, leaving Trevor to watch as he sashayed away. As he sipped on his beer, Trevor couldn't help but feel disappointed with the direction Rafael had taken with his suggestion, but still he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the shorter man again.

As the minutes slowly crept by, Trevor soon grew impatient. He downed the rest of his beer and practically leapt out of the booth, he slowed himself down as he tried not to run to the restroom. He took a deep breath before he opened the door and stepped through. Trevor scanned the room, disappointed when Rafael was nowhere in sight.

Then the door slammed closed behind him and Trevor felt strong hands pushing him into a stall, turning only to lock the door behind them. Rafael was then upon him, his hands pulling Trevor’s head towards his own. The kiss burnt through the taller man, setting every fiber of his being alight. Rafael was practically devouring Trevor’s mouth, his fingers wound so tightly in Trevor’s locks it caused his cock to twitch.

Trevor scrambled to regain some control, his hands fell to Rafael’s waist and pressed him back against the door before he placed one arm either side of him, effectively pinning the shorter man to the door. Rafael broke off the kiss, he arched his brow and before Trevor knew it his belt was undone and his pants and briefs were being tugged over his hips.

“Raf-Rafael,” Trevor gasped as the man reached for his cock, a situation far too reminiscent of their youths.

“Shhh,” Rafael soothed as he moved his hand up and down Trevor’s length. “I’m just reacquainting myself.” He swiped his thumb over the head before moving back down the length. “What do _you_ want Trevor?” All he could do was moan in response. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Y-yes,” Trevor begged, his knees buckled as Rafael twisted his wrist. “Please.”

“Good,” Rafael purred before releasing him, he reached into his pocket to reveal a condom and a packet of lube. “You know what to do.”

Immediately Trevor ‘s hands were on Rafael’s belt, the fine leather was new, but the way the man moaned as Trevor pulled his trousers down felt like coming home. He grabbed the lube and condom from Rafael’s hand before he forced the man to turn around and spread his legs. He ran his free hand along the curve of Rafael’s ass, relishing in the feel of the man’s soft flesh, before he finally rested it on his spine.

“Lean forward,” he hissed into the prosecutor’s ear, the younger man eagerly complied.

Trevor tore open the packet of lube and squeezed some onto his fingers, he slicked his digits before he reached down to trace Rafael’s hole. The younger man mewled as Trevor teased his entrance, the familiar sound going straight to the taller man’s cock. He teased Rafael’s entrance, slowly tracking the puckered hole before he finally pushed through the ring of muscle, enjoying the feel of the man fluttering around him.

Trevor gently stroked Rafael's prostate, crooking his finger, relishing in every moan he drew from Rafael.  
  
"I can," Rafael choked out, grinding on Trevor's finger slightly. "I can take more."

Trevor nodded wordlessly before adding a second finger, he began to move them together, earnestly fucking them into Rafael. “Just as tight as I remember,” he murmured before adding a third which drew another sharp moan from the man. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

“Please,” Rafael gasped out, his hips jutted backwards allowing Trevor to scissor his fingers more freely. “I’m ready, fuck me.”

“Turn around,” Trevor gently removed his fingers, encouraging the man to move quickly. “I need to kiss you.” Their mouths melded together, each kiss longer than the last. “I wanna fuck you against the stall, please?”

Rafael nodded wordlessly, allowing Trevor to lift him up, perfect trust in his eyes, before the taller man finally sank into the prosecutor, he relished the moan he drew. Even though he had dreamed about it for years, Trevor had forgotten just how good, how warm, how tight, the younger man felt. Rafael wrapped his legs around Trevor’s waist and his arms around his neck before allowing the man to press him against the wall of the stall. Trevor gave Rafael a moment to adjust before he finally began to move his hips, the two of them working to find an angle that suited them both.

“God I’ve missed this,” Trevor moaned as he fucked into Rafael. “I am so glad that you were there tonight.”

“I lied,” Rafael panted, as his hole tightened around Trevor’s cock. “Rita was invited, I saw your name on the list, begged her to bring me along.”

“God,” each moan he pulled from the other man drove Trevor to fuck him rougher, harder. “Rafael.”

Rafael captured Trevor’s bottom lip between his teeth before kissing him passionately. “I’ve been dreaming about you for years.”

“Me too,” Trevor gasped out, re-adjusting his grip on Rafael’s hips.

“Needed to make it a reality,” Rafael gasped before he pressed another kiss to Trevor’s mouth. “Needed you. Always need you.”

“I know,” Trevor moaned, Rafael’s words thrummed through his head. He couldn’t believe how beautiful the man looked, head thrown back in ecstasy as Trevor moved within him. “Raf-Rafael,” Trevor gasped as green eyes locked with grey. “Touch yourself.”

The younger man complied, moving one hand to stroke Trevor’s face before he trailed it down his sternum to take himself in hand. As the two of them rocked together the stall wall shook and their moans flooded the bathroom, they didn’t even care. Rafael shuddered as he came, covering the two of them in streaks of white. He fucked him through his orgasm, though it was the sinful way he called out Trevor’s name that finally sent the taller man over the edge. He held on tight to Rafael, even though he felt as though he was about to collapse.

When they finally came down from their high Trevor slipped out of Rafael and helped him to stand on his feet. They exchanged several more soft kisses before they proceeded to clean themselves up. When they were finally dressed and semi-presentable, Rafael finally unlocked the door of the stall and walked out as though nothing had happened. He then turned to Trevor and pressed another kiss to his mouth.

“Rafael,” Trevor murmured, a warm smile lit up his face. “I lo-”

The prosecutor pulled him down once more, kissing the smile from his face. “I know,” he murmured. “Me too.” He then turned and pulled Trevor out of the bathroom, up the stairs and out onto the street. Both men ignoring the glares they received from the other patrons.

“Trevor,” He smiled, as the cool night air hit them. “See that restaurant over there?”

Trevor followed the man’s gaze. “Yes?”

“Meet me there,” Rafael’s gaze was warm. “Thursday at eight. Please?”

“I’ll be there,” Trevor murmured before he leaned down and captured the other man’s mouth with his own.

Rafael lit up slightly. “I’ll see you then.”

They chatted about anything and everything as they waited for their respective cars to arrive. When it was finally time to go they parted with a final kiss, the promise of a date hanging in the air. Trevor couldn’t help the warmth that he felt, he was finally getting his chance.

\--

The restaurant Rafael had chosen was elegant and a little more upmarket than Trevor had expected, though that wasn’t a deterrent at all. It felt as though the prosecutor wanted to make an effort to show Trevor that he had changed or grown or something. Not that Trevor needed that at all, he was just happy to finally be on a proper date with the man that he just kept missing out on.

Rafael hadn’t arrived yet, so Trevor sat at the table and waited. Before Trevor knew it twenty minutes had passed, then another thirty, then an hour. Trevor ordered a meal and ate, hoping that Rafael would rush in and apologize for his absence. It wasn’t long after he had finished eating that he grew sick of the look of pity in the restaurant staff’s eyes. He paid his bill and left, planning to leave a message for Rafael at his office the next day.

What he hadn’t counted on was the scandal in the Manhattan DA’s office that had been sweeping the front pages of all the newspapers to have had an effect on their situation. Even though there was no mention of Rafael Barba in the names listed when Trevor called the Brooklyn ADA’s office, he was brushed off. Rafael had moved on, to where they wouldn’t say.

Trevor took a deep breath and reminded himself that Rafael knew where he was, if he really wanted to he would contact him. Though as each day passed, Trevor’s heart began to break. Once again, he had missed his chance with Rafael Barba.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My estimation was wrong! This chapter came out a week early. Hopefully the final chapter (aka the Epilogue) will come in another fortnight.
> 
> This is the one I have been most excited to write, the one that finally ties this fic to canon.
> 
> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

It was the first time Rafael had stepped foot inside Olivia Benson’s apartment, usually they socialized in restaurants or bars. So when Liv texted him to come over he jumped at the opportunity, curious to see his friends apartment for the first time. 

When he had pictured the Sergeants apartment he most certainly wasn’t expecting the chaos before him. Children’s toys were strewn everywhere. Rafael had to watch his step as he moved awkwardly through the scattered cars, bears and stuffed toys.

“Sorry,” Liv winced as she guided him through the chaos. “Watch those blocks.” She looked stressed, more so than usual.

Rafael tried to lighten the mood. “So what, that toy box is just what, decorative?” 

“Oh, you brought the jokes.” Liv was clearly unimpressed. “Listen, would you hold him for a minute?”

“Huh?” Was Rafael’s intelligent response as the toddler was handed to him. “Ah, oh.”

“Thanks.” 

As he awkwardly held Noah he watched as Liv began to nervously pick up the toys lying on the couch. From the way she tightened her shoulder’s Rafael could tell she was stressed. He took a deep breath, he didn’t want to put off the conversation. 

“So you said you didn't want to talk about this in the office?” 

She placed the toys on the coffee table before she turned to grab Noah. Rafael couldn’t help but feel relieved that he was no longer awkwardly holding the young child. 

“Um,” Liv began, her voice trembled. “Johnny D, the pimp, he's still in custody on federal charges?”

“Yeah,” Rafael chose his next words wisely. “His lawyers tried for bail but they were shut down, why?”

“What if our investigation turned up information that Johnny D fathered a child?” He looked at her intently. She paused, her voice hitching, before she continued. “With Elly Porter."

He looked his friend in the eye and kept his tone straight. “This conversation is hypothetical as of now, okay?” He sat himself down on Liv’s couch and waited for her to join him.

“If Johnny D was in fact,” she paused to glance at her son. “Noah's biological father... Is that something that NYPD would have to disclose?”

“You double checked?” Rafael asked even though he already knew the answer.

She answered promptly. “Ran the DNA three times.” 

 

Rafael had no idea what to say. He had no idea what his friend needed to hear. Instead he took a deep breath and waited for his friend to continue.

“Johnny D was a major trafficker,” Liv shakily explained. “Probably bought and sold every girl who's been put to work in New York. And then he raped them to break them in. Look, I haven't slept since I--” She paused, took a deep breath and looked at him. “Just tell me that he doesn't have to know.”

“He doesn't,” Rafael turned and looked her dead in the eye, trying to soothe her in any way possible. “It's not exculpatory in any way. He never needs to find out.”

“I've already started the adoption paperwork,” she practically breathed.

“Given Noah's early history,” He continued, his tone genuine. “How can you be expected to know who his father was?”

Liv nodded before forcing a smile. As she drew her would-be son towards her and rocked him gently, Rafael felt his heart ache. He wish he could do more than provide legal advice to his friend.

“What do I do now?” She sounded so very tired.

Rafael thought for a moment, “Who’s the attorney handling Noah’s adoption?”

“Uh,” She licked her lips before meeting his gaze. “Trevor Langan.” Rafael’s heart came to a complete halt as the name fell from her lips. “Do you know him?”

Rafael felt as though he was drowning. Even though he hadn’t seen the man for many years every time he heard his name his heart started pounding and his palms started to sweat. He had looked Trevor up many times since their missed dinner. His hands had written down his number only to rip it up moments later.

Part of him felt that if they were meant to be together, fate would have found a way already. Another part of hip told him to stop being silly, to pick up the phone and call the defense attorney if he wanted to speak to him already. But the part that always won out was the part that told him there would always be next time.

He turned to look at his friend again and wondered if she would be the reason they would have a next time. For the first time in years Rafael felt a spark of hope.

“I know of him.” His answer was carefully crafted to hide what he was feeling.

A small smile graced Liv’s face. “He’s a good attorney.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rafael forced a smile of his own. “Do you need help paying--”

Liv shook her head. “He’s doing this pro-bono.”

“Of course he is,” He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped.

“Rafael?” Liv tentatively asked after a moment. “Should I tell him?”

“No,” Rafael answered honestly. “Not unless you decide to disclose on the adoption paperwork.”

“Thank you,” she said before pressing a kiss to Noah’s head.

“No problem,” his response was simple. “Is there anything else?”

“Not at the moment,” Liv shook her head. “I should get Noah some lunch. Trevor’s on his way over to help me with the paperwork.”

His stomach began to sink as he recalled the brief smile that flashed upon Olivia’s face when she said Trevor Langan’s name. He had never seen her smile like that. Even though he had never moved on maybe Trevor had, and as much as it pained him, Rafael didn’t want to get in the way.

“I’d better be on my way then,” Rafael stood up quickly, brushing himself off.

“Rafael?” Liv quirked her brow. “Is everything okay?”

He brushed her off. “Fine, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” She watched as Rafael awkwardly move around the mess on the floor.

Rafael turned and looked back at Liv and Noah when he reached the door. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” She nodded. “Thanks again.”

Rafael gave a final wave before he wrenched the front door open, stepped into the hallway and closed the door shut behind him. He walked towards the elevator before he finally released the breath that he had been holding. He pressed the call lift button and patiently waited for the elevator to come. 

As he watched the numbers above the elevator climb he tried to ignore the thoughts that were running through his brain. What would he do if Liv and Trevor were seeing each other? What would he say? Had Trevor already told Liv of their past encounters? Or was he hiding that from her?

The bell rang and the elevator doors slid open to reveal the man himself in a grey suit. Rafael couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Though he was wearing his hair a little longer and sporting short facial hair peppered with grey, he looked like the same Trevor Langan that Rafael had fallen in love with all those years ago.

Rafael didn’t move as Trevor took a step towards him, a wide smile on his face. They were so close that Rafael could easily reach up and pull the man down into a much wanted kiss. Then thoughts of Olivia and Noah flashed through the prosecutor’s mind as his smile fell slighty.

“Trevor,” he nodded, his voice warm.

Trevor chuckled lowly before responding. “Rafael.”

“You have a beard,” he blurted out.

“I do,” that drew a proper laugh from the taller man. “Not a fan?”

"In a weird way, it suits you," Rafael sighed. His smile returned and a long-forgotten sense of warmth creept into his heart.

Trever nodded, fondness written in his features. "How have you been, Rafael?"   
  
"Good." The smile refused to leave his face. "Busy. And yourself?"   
  
"Also busy," Trevor chuckled once more, ducking his head just a little. "Mostly mentoring junior associates now."   
  
"Do you enjoy it?"   
  
"I do." Trevor said, then sighed, adding, "but why don't we cut the crap."   
  
"Excuse me?" Rafael cocked a brow.

Trevor let out a groan of frustration. “Can I just--”

Trevor took a step forward, they were now so close that Rafael could feel the heat radiating from his body. Trevor then cupped Rafael’s cheek with his hand, a pleading look in his eye. It was Rafael who slowly ran his hands up Trevor’s shoulder’s until they reached his neck. He pulled Trevor towards him before capturing the other man’s mouth with his own. When their lips met, it felt electric, familiar and foreign at the same time.

The kiss was hot and desperate, it sent shivers down Rafael’s spine. His finger’s were wound tight in Trevor’s long, soft locks. Trevor’s own hands had found their way under Rafael’s suit jacket and were tight around his waist.

“Ahem,” a small cough caused the two men to spring apart.

Rafael whipped his head around only to see Olivia standing in the hallway, Noah on her hip, an amused expression on her face.

“Uh--”

“Weren’t you leaving, Rafael?” She quipped. The look in her eye said they would definitely be discussing this at a later time.

“I was,” Rafael fought the blush that was threatening to consume his face. “I just needed a word with Trevor first.”

“Clearly,” Liv threw a wink. “I’ll give you two a moment then. I expect you in five, Trevor.”

They stood and watched in silence as Liv shut the door behind her. Rafael flushed red as the blush that he had been stubbornly fighting finally filled his face. He turned to look at Trevor, a bashful smile on his face.

“So what happens now?” Rafael teased Trevor, unsure of else what to do.

Trevor heaved a sigh. “That’s really up to you Rafael.”

“What do you mean?” Rafael furrowed his brow, he tried to stay direct and confident. His heart, though, was racing, beating hard against his ribcage.

“I have spent years chasing you,” Trevor began, his beautiful grey eyes wide and full of such affection. “I am so tired, Rafael. I can’t let you break my heart again.”

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say in response.

“Don’t be. It’s who you are,” a soft smile appeared on Trevor’s face. “It’s why I love you.”

Rafael felt his heart ache at the sound of those three words. He had been so desperate yet so scared of hearing them in the past. Yet now, in this moment, they were all Rafael ever wanted to hear. He stepped forward and took Trevor’s hand with his own.

“I love you too,” he replied honestly. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Trevor squeezed Rafael’s hand.

“What if we don’t work out?” Rafael felt like a fool now that he was voicing his concerns. “What if we’re finally together and the fantasy was better than the reality. I’ve spent my life half in love with the idea of you, it was the reasons why I’ve held you at arms length for all these years.”

“Oh, Rafael--”

“We’ve always been so close, then something always tears us apart. I’m terrified that all our meetings were mere coincide,” his voice cracked and he dropped his gaze from Trevor’s. “That we’re not going to work out.”

“We don't meet people by coincidence,” Trevor murmured as he squeezed Rafael’s hand again. “They are meant to cross our path for a reason.”

Rafael felt Trevor’s hand on his chin, lifting his head so their eyes could lock once more. This time when their lips met, it was gentle, sweet and euphoric. In this moment there was nowhere else Rafael would rather be than standing in the corridor wrapped in this man’s embrace.

“I should be getting inside--”

“Can I get your number?” Rafael blurted out, not wanting Trevor to leave.

Trevor looked pained. “Rafael--”

Rafael came up with an alternative solution. “Wait, pass me your phone.” Trevor complied, reaching into his pocket and removed his phone before passing it to Rafael. He pulled his own phone from his pocket before he dialled himself from Trevior’s. “There, now we both have each other’s numbers.”

“You’ll call me?” There was a spark of hope in Trevor’s voice, Rafael was not going to douse it.

Rafael smiled warmly. “I certainly will.”

His phone vibrated in his hand. Even though he knew it wasn’t Trevor he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment. He looked down at his phone, his mother’s name and photo peered back at him, a disapproving glint in her eye.

“I need to get this,” Rafael sighed as he looked back up Trevor. “Talk to you soon?”

“You call and I’ll answer,” Trevor chuckled, his smile bright. “Goodbye, Rafael.”

“Goodbye, Trevor,” Rafael murmured before he watched him turn and knock on Olivia’s front door.

He waited for the taller man to disappear inside his friends apartment before he turned on his heel and made his way to the elevator. As he pressed the call lift button his phone vibrated once more, he looked down at the caller ID and sighed. He took a deep breath before finally swiping to answer, dreading the conversation to come. 

\---

Rafael felt ill. His heart was pounding rapidly, trying to escape from his chest. His abuelita was dead and it was all his fault.

It had been a very long week, so much had happened and it had spun completely out of his control. The Squad, the case, his abuelita--

His family would never forgive him, his mother-- hell Rafael may never even forgive himself. With a shaking hand he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began to search through his contacts, thinking about who he should call. His focus fell on one name in particular, and before Rafael knew it his phone was ringing.

As the phone rang his stomach twisted and turned itself into knots. He inhaled and exhaled in time with each ring until finally the call connected.

“Trevor,” the name was like a breath of fresh air.

“Rafael,” he heard Trevor’s smirk down the line. “You called me.”

“I-I did,” he forced a smile.

“Rafael?” the other man sounded concerned. Even with the distance Trevor could tell that something was wrong, “Is everything okay?”

Rafael drew a deep breath. He thought about lying to Trevor, to the man he loved, but he couldn’t. Instead his voice hitched as he let out a sob. “I am so sorry.”

“Rafael?” Trevor’s response was tentative.

Rafael let out another sob, a weeks worth of tension pouring out of him. “I didn’t want the first time I called to be like this.”

“It’s okay, Rafael,” Trevor attempted to soothe.

“It’s not,” Rafael’s throat felt dry, his voice scratchy as he tried to speak. “My abuelita passed away this morning.”

“Rafael--”

“It’s my fault, Trevor,” he admitted quietly. “I wanted her to move into a retirement home. I wanted her to leave her home.”

“It’s not your fault,” Trevor murmured as he attempted to comfort Rafael. “You couldn't have known.”

“I was being selfish--”

“Rafael,” Trevor interrupted. “I am sure you were doing what you felt was right.”

“Yeah,” Rafael half heartedly agreed. “If only it was actually the right thing to do.”

“Rafael--”

“Come over,” he realized how ridiculously pathetic he sounded. “Please?”

Trevor sucked in a deep breath before he answered. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Trevor,” Rafael pleaded. “I’m not looking for anything--” His voice broke. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Okay,” Trevor agreed, his gentle voice filled Rafael with warmth.

“Thank you.”

Rafael rattled off his address before he ended the call. He sat on the couch in silence, a thousand thoughts running through his brain. His mother, his abuelita, Trevor— He wondered if he had made the right decision. Before he knew it a loud knock broke through the silence.

At the sound of Trevor’s knock, Rafael’s heart leapt. He pulled himself off the couch and padded over to the front door. Once there, he took a deep breath, in and out, his heart was beating rapidly. On the other side of this door stood the man he had loved for so long, he wasn’t going to let Trevor wait any longer. Rafael opened the door and gazed into the eyes of the man he loved.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

A small smile twitched at the corner of Rafael’s mouth. It would take time, but everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t coincidence that he and Trevor had kept on meeting after all, it was fate.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh.... This took me way less time than expected. A nice fluffy coda to end the fic.
> 
> Many thanks to ChameleonCircuit for the beta, any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> And thank you to everyone that came along for the ride. I really hope you enjoyed this undertaking. All your kudos and feedback will always be treasured.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do to. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Happy endings were the best part of Trevor’s job. Every innocent client who was declared not guilty, every dispute settled, every successful adoption, made Trevor glow. Though today was particularly special. Olivia Benson was finally adopting Noah Porter.

Olivia looked particularly radiant with her son in her lap. She was waiting patiently as Judge Ruth Linden reviewed the paperwork, signing each page as required. After what surely felt like an age to the sergeant, Ruth finally closed the folder and placed her pen on the desk. She looked up at Trevor, a stern look on her face. 

“Father's recently deceased?” She questioned, lifting the top page to double check his answers.

“Yes,” Trevor responded eagerly. “And the agency was unable to locate any living blood relatives.”

“Okay. Sergeant Benson,” she began, her tone formal. “Are you willing to raise this child as your lawful child?”

“Yes,” Olivia breathed.

“This child will inherit from you,” Ruth continued, she looked Olivia straight in the eye. “He will be treated no differently than a biological child. Do you agree?”

“Yes,” Olivia answered again, a small smile appeared on her face.

“I know it's been a long year, a hard process,” Ruth stated. She flashed a smile at Olivia before she looked through the paperwork once more. “But everything seems to be in order.” She looked up again, a wide smile across her face. “Congratulations, Olivia. And to you, Noah Porter Benson.” Trevor couldn’t help but be pleased as he watched the joyous exchange. “I'm signing off on the adoption.”

“Thank you, Judge,” Trevor smiled.

Olivia beamed as Ruth rose to her feet. “Thank you.”

“All the best to you and your family,” Ruth shook Olivia’s hand for the last time.

“Thank you,” Olivia practically sang, she was glowing. “We did it. Noah Porter Benson.

As the new mother smiled at him Trevor felt his emotions well. He had never felt so connected to a client before, nor had he helped along a woman more deserving that the one before him. He ushered her and her son out of Ruth’s office before giving the Judge one last wave and closing the door behind him.

“Thank you, Trevor,” Olivia squeezed her son to her side. “Just thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, Olivia,” Trevor chuckled. “This was a privilege.” Trevor leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Congratulations.”

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Olivia asked as she adjusted Noah on her hip. “Rafael told you about it.”

“He did,” Trevor answered hesitantly. “Though I wasn’t sure if I would be welcome or not.”

“You will be,” Olivia chuckled. “You are.”

“I’ll be there then,” Trevor smiled before turning to leave.

“Thanks again,” she called out before grabbing Noah’s arm and waving it. “Wave bye bye, Noah.”

Trevor’s heart swelled at the sight of the two, finally mother and son by law and love. The party would be the perfect end to their perfect day. He couldn’t wait to be part of it.

\--

Trevor was surprized at how nervous he felt as he rode the familiar elevator up to Olivia Benson’s apartment. Though he knew Olivia, Fin, and of course Rafael quite well, he wasn’t as familiar with the rest of the squad. He took a deep breath and sighed as his phone buzzed in his hand. A text from Rafael lit up the screen,  _ where are you? _

_ Almost there.  _ He replied as the elevator doors pinged opened. 

The hallway loomed in front of him. He took a deep breath before he walked the short distance to Olivia’s front door. He paused, listening to the happy cheers inside. A brief smile appeared on his face before he raised a hand and rapped his knuckles against the stark white door.

“Come in,” Olivia sang happily through the door.

Trevor stepped through the front door, scanning the happy faces in the apartment. The entire squad had shown up to celebrate the adoption. He lifted his hand and gave a gentle wave before he walked towards the host and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. 

“Mind taking a group shot, Langan?” Fin asked, holding out his phone.

Trevor eagerly took the device. “More than happy to.” The squad grouped together, bright smiles plastered on their faces. “Say, ‘congratulations Noah Benson Porter’.”

The squad laughed before repeating the phrase. Trevor took several pictures before gesturing to Fin to return the phone.

“Thanks man,” Fin smiled before he clapped him on the shoulder. “For all of this.”

“It was nothing,” Trevor shrugged off the kind words.

Fin looked over towards Olivia who was chatting to Amaro and Rollins. “You helped her keep her family together.”

“It really was nothing,” Trevor couldn’t help the blush that crept up his neck.

“Trevor Langan cannot take a compliment,” Rafael interrupted, an empty glass of wine in hand. “So I wouldn’t bother.”

“Mr. Barba,” Trevor cocked his head to the side, amused at his partner’s antics.

Rafael cocked a brow in response. “Mr. Langan.”

Trevor reached out to cup his cheek before he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the shorter man’s mouth. Fin rolled his eyes with a chuckle before he moved away to chat to a new detective that Trevor wasn’t familiar with.

“Hi,” Trevor murmured as they pulled away.

Rafael’s smile was breathtaking. “Hi.”

“You look good in tan suits,” Trevor breathed, taking in the sight of Rafael.

“So do you,” Rafael chuckled as he slowly raked his own gaze over Trevor’s form. “Even if your tie is ugly.”

Trevor forced a scowl. “Hey!”

“Want to get out of here?” Rafael lowered his voice.

“Wouldn’t that be rude?” Trevor tilted  his head to the side. “I only just arrived.”

“I don’t think Liv will mind,” Rafael smiled before he turned to look at his friend. The woman looked radiant with her son on her hip surrounded by the family she created. 

Trevor turned back to the prosecutor, a fond smile on his face. “I think you might be right.”

The two men waved to Fin, the other detective and Lucy before they made their way out of the apartment, closing the door gently behind them. Trevor felt a small tug on his jacket, he turned around to find himself being pulled down towards Rafael, their mouths meeting in a heated kiss. When they finally broke apart, Rafael had a serene look on his face.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

Trevor looked at the man that he loved. It had taken them many years and many missed opportunities but they finally had their chance. It was serendipity after all.


End file.
